I am not

Today has been a bad day filled with bloating, cramps, and chocolate. I’m sad, emotional, and a bit overwhelmed. Enjoy my rambles:

I am not unhealthy. My pediatrician growing up would often say to my mother “She’s as healthy as a horse, just a large horse.” That phrase has stuck in my mind for years. Along with quite a few other brilliant sentiments:

  • You’re beautiful for a big girl.
  • Wow, you’re face is so pretty!
  • Big boobs don’t count if you’re fat.

…I could probably go on. These words have been stuck in my mind for so long that sometimes I forget the important things people have said to me. My girlfriend calls me beautiful on a daily basis. She doesn’t tell me I’m pretty/beautiful for a fat girl, she just says I’m beautiful. Those words mean everything to me. I need to remember those words instead.

Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. I am a larger size and a rounder shape, but I’m also smart, funny (at least I would like to think so), and beautiful. I am not perfect. I am far from perfect, but girls don’t begin hating their bodies… People tell them to. My doctor was one of those people. Some of my family were other people. Classmates..and even friends.

I’m sick of hating my body. I’m sick of judging myself from every angle in the mirror every time I get dressed.

Fat Girl

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